Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Wanted: Mr. Mo, and his Lasses

A serious crime has been perpetrated! A renegade baker, known only as 'Mo', raided a bank today, assisted by some well-known and also some less-known sidekicks. The old standby 'Mrs. Breadflour' was there, of course, only just having finished a conviction for creating counterfeit crusts. Her partner in crime, Friar Yeast, was also present. Unusually for Mo, he made use of the skills of 'Carroway and Fennel', a duo known for their use of carefully wafted odours to take out unsuspecting guards. Breadflour's daughter, Ryeflour, has no previous convictions, but has obviously been drawn into his family's tradition of nefarious deeds. A 'Ms Cocoa' is being questioned regarding reports that she instructed a co-defendant, Nikel, to use his shotgun on the people insided the bank, shouting "pump her, Nikel!"

Some of the stash of dangerous-smelling goods

About 30 people were knocked out with a new concoction created specifically for the event. What's more, when they came around, the ammunition had taken effect! Police are investigating possible use of narcotics designed to stimulate craving, as the victims of this merciless gang took to devouring them as fast as they could. In a statement made after recovering from burns to the inside of the mouth, one victim complained that "it lies rather heavily on the stomach."

One of the pieces of ammunition, rescued halfway through being devoured
A set of documents codenamed "bake it" is said to have been leaked from Murdoch Books, which supposedly contains plans for such an outrageous weapon. There are several possible authors, but any convictions are likely to be overturned as the content is widely available to the general public.

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